Black or White*
Kevin Costner and Octavia Spencer star in this family melodrama as opposing grandparents of a young biracial girl fighting for custody of her. Everything about this sentimental, heart-tugging flick — from the twinkly score to the moral lessons learned to the ghostly visitations from dead spouses to the passionate courtroom testimonies — screams "TV MOVIE" (and I mean more Lifetime than HBO). Still, this is one film that your parents in the suburbs will absolutely love.
Grade: C+
*Oscar-qualifying run in 2014
Blackhat
Unimaginably dreadful new film about cyber-terrorism from the sometimes-great Michael Mann. Narrative is dull and goes places that make no sense. Has nothing relevant to say about the technological world we live in. Handheld digital aesthetic as unsuccessful here as in Mann's Public Enemies — during action sequences, it looks like an unseen other character is filming on his iPhone. Chris Hemsworth not convincing as a genius hacker... who is also an expert with guns and physical combat? Utter waste of Viola Davis. Production company reportedly lost $90M on this film. No kidding.
Grade: D+
The Boy Next Door
Pure freaking delight. Most entertaining trashy thriller I've seen in years. Deliciously lurid, ridiculous. Jennifer Lopez is impressively committed. Ryan Guzman is unspeakably hot. You know, it's not, like, good... but that doesn't mean it's not great. This is one to treasure forever, folks.
Grade: A+ and also D... so let's call it B-?
The Loft
Thriller in which five married men secretly share a luxury loft where they can engage in their extramarital trysts — but everything goes to hell when a dead woman is discovered in the bed, and they realize that one of them must be responsible. Mystery is engaging enough, but premise and characters are revolting. Despite an intriguing and eclectic cast — Karl Urban. James Marsden. Wentworth Miller. Eric Stonestreet?! — characters are lazily written. Belgian world-cinema star Matthias Schoenaerts does an utterly convincing American lowlife accent.
Grade: D+
Mortdecai
All-star cast wasted on paper-thin, one-dimensional characters. Convoluted art-heist plot that neither makes much sense nor is interesting in any way. Offensively unfunny. To be avoided. Recurring joke about how hipster moustaches are revolting is dead-on, however.
Grade: D
Paddington*
Emerges fully formed as a new family classic. These sweet, funny adventures of a very polite, accident-prone young bear from Darkest Peru had me grinning like a fool from beginning to end, utterly delighted. I can't imagine a more perfect choice for the voice of the titular bear than Ben Whishaw. Nicole Kidman is a hoot as an evil taxidermist, and she's clearly having a great time. Bonneville, Hawkins also terrific. Excellent visual effects creating a totally believable CGI lead character. Sure, the dialogue over-explains the film's message a little too obviously at times, but the overall experience is so pleasurable that one can forgive. Go see it!
Grade: B+
*Oscar-qualifying run in 2014
Project Almanac
Intriguing premise -- found footage time travel drama -- but screenplay is too superficial. I've already seen this movie many times. Nevertheless, it's reasonably entertaining and well-acted.
Grade: C+
Strange Magic
Very strange animated film about forest-dwelling goblins and fairies in love that borrows many elements from A Midsummer Night's Dream. Improbably, this is also a jukebox musical in which the goblins and fairies sing love-themed pop hits. Unfortunately, the story is too predictable and by-the-numbers for this film to be truly worthwhile, but there's just enough WTF to make it kind of fun.
Grade: C+
The Wedding Ringer
Don't believe the wretched reviews. To my great astonishment, I liked this one quite a lot. Funnier than I'd expected, and surprisingly sweet and vulnerable. Kevin Hart and Josh Gad are wonderful together. Cloris Leachman — in a nothing role — proves once again that she can be hilarious without even opening her mouth. Typical of Hollywood comedies, the supporting characters are underwritten — and the film isn't so generous towards women. Still, I laughed out loud for 90 minutes.
Grade: B-
See also the long-form review for The Woman in Black: Angel of Death.
